Finding Meaning in Adversity
We all encounter a variety of challenges as we journey through life. Loss of a job, loss of a loved one, relocation, physical declines are all common parts of the human experience.
“How can this be happening to me?” Such people see themselves as victims, and living through hardship carries no lessons for them. But resilient people devise constructs about their suffering to create some sort of meaning for themselves and others. Resilience is characterized by “bouncing back” from negative experiences within a relatively short period of time. The building blocks of resilience are to make do with whatever is at hand and the propensity to find meaning in the terrible times.
Resilience in day to day life
Whenever we get so upset that we say or do something that we later regret (and who doesn’t now and then?), that’s a sure sign that our amygdala — the brain’s radar for danger and the trigger for the fight-or-flight response — has hijacked the brain’s executive centers in the prefrontal cortex. The neural key to resilience lies in how quickly we recover from that hijacked state.
Even a seemingly benign suggestion can leave you feeling angry, anxious, badly treated, or profoundly threatened. But there is a difference between feeling an emotion and becoming that emotion. For example, it is normal to feel angry but the problem begins when you become an angry person. We face a number of challenges during the entire day but “bouncing back” to the normal in day to day life is essentially important. An important characteristic of Resilience is Self regulation (Cognitive and Emotional) both of which help to overcome challenges in times of adversity.
Following are the steps of a simple technique to practice self regulation:
- Find a quiet, private place where you can be undistracted for a few minutes. For instance, close your office door and mute your phone.
- Sit comfortably, with your back straight but relaxed.
- Focus your awareness on your breath, staying attentive to the sensations of the inhalation and exhalation, and start again on the next breath.
- Do not judge your breathing or try to change it in any way.
- See anything else that comes to mind as a distraction — thoughts, sounds, whatever. Let them go and return your attention to your breath.
Sources of Resilience
These factors are predictive of resilient responses in the face of adversity:
- Self acceptance — Self acceptance means you embrace who you are even though you may or may not always like yourself.
- Personal growth — Personal growth is exhibited by a person who is still striving to make the life they want despite obstacles and learning new things.
- Purpose in life — To have a purpose means that you feel you are making a positive difference in the world and that your life is personally meaningful.
- Environmental mastery — Feeling of competence and the ability to manage the complex environment of today’s fast-paced life.
- Autonomy — Being your own person and following your own values and interests are the aspects of autonomy
- Positive relations with others — Having good friends, or a satisfying marriage, and supportive relations with co-workers all express this dimension.
Written by: Maria Rahim
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